(Note: The intro is a parody of the intro of the first episode of Ed, Edd, and Eddy, the Ed-.)Touchables
(Elliot is sleeping in his room. The doorbell rings, and Elliot gets up and sniffs for the door. As Elliot approaches the door, the doorbells starts going crazy. Elliot opens the door to find a stack of files outside his door. The files pummels into Elliot. Elliot sees the files are bills)
BACK TO BUSINESS
Mr. Elliot C. Elliotson
9999 Shitbag Rd.
Slums, NJ ASDFG
8888888 ANOTHER 8
(Elliot looks over to see more bills on the floor. The doorbell rings again and checks outside to see nobody. Elliot scratches his head and shuts the door. The doorbell rings again and Elliot rushes to the door to find nobody again, so he stands right next to the door. The doorbell rings and Elliot immediately opens the door. The door hits a cinderblock which ricochets off the paneling until it flies into Elliot. Elliot Closes the door, but leaves it open a little to see who was ringing the bell. The doorbell goes crazy again, and Elliot slams the door open to find life-size cut-outs of Barack Obama outside. Elliot Clears the yard and throws all the cut-outs away. While outside near the trashcans, the doorbell rings again. Elliot sees the door close by itself. Elliot knocks on his own door, and it opens up for him. Elliot finds Roman in his house.)
Roman: Let’s do some bowling
(Elliot tosses Roman out of the house and into a passing car. Roman flies off the car and hits a telephone pole, tumbles into a graveyard and explodes.
Roman: Another time then
(Elliot slams the door shut and stands next to it. The doorbell rings again and body blows again the door. Mr. Higglesworth is at the door)
Mr. Higglesworth: Oh look, it’s the almighty Elliot, (A halo appears over Elliot’s head, but Mr. Higglesworth slaps it away) The star of the show! CONGRATU-FUCKING-LATIONS! GEE, ‘BOUT TIME YOUR LAZY ASS ANSWERED THE DOOR!
Elliot: Were you the one ringing my doorbell before?
(Mr. Higglesworth slaps an assignment in Elliot’s face)
Mr. Higglesworth: Merry Halloween! Ass-ignment due before tomorrow’s following day but before Tuesday. If you hand it in late, I’m giving you an A+.
Elliot: Ah, okay, cool.
(Mr. Higglesworth grabs Elliot by the nose and drags him in front of his face)
Mr. Higglesworth: And don’t act like you don’t care, because this ass-ignment is worth an F, and I know you and your fetish for getting Fs.
Elliot: I wouldn’t really classify getting Fs as a fetish, (Elliot is dressed like a proper English gentleman) they’re more like a sign of a highly dysfunctional teacher that abuses the grading policy.
Mr. Higglesworth: Yeah, well your dick must be dysfunctional, (Mr. Higglesworth punches Elliot’s dick and pokes Elliot’s face) (distorted through Elliot’s head) because you can’t stop getting aroused by the letter F. (Outside Elliot’s head) f, f, f! There, your pornography for today. Now excuse me while I have the same conversation with the rest of shitbag neighborhood you live in. (Repeatedly pokes Elliot’s face)
(Mr. Higglesworth flies off. Brandon is outside)
Brandon: After the demotivating dialogue with Elliot and his algebra instructor, the young man holding the paper suddenly glanced over the omni evil fixture of a man, a man well known to his peers, and man who can – (Continues talking)
(Elliot sees his other friends)
Elliot: Oh, hey guys.
Elmer: (Laughs menancingly)
Brandon: A name that reconciled with the purity of mankind; Brandon was his name.
Xavior: Learn how to talk properly stupid-ass. You mean Brandon is your name, not was.
(Brandon goes on Xavier’s back)
Brandon: Strucken back by his companion, Brandon was not only intimidated, but slightly satisfied in noticing how Xavior sparked a hint of anger.
(Elliot looks at Brandon)
Elliot: So what brings you guys here?
Jimbo: You see Elliot, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much…
Elliot: Yes, I know.
Jimbo: …they go camping!
Elmer: (Civilized voice) Get your mind out of the gutter, scumbag! Oh, uh wait a minute wait a minute I mean, uh, (Normal crazy voice) MY NAME’S ELMER, BWAH! (laughs a little)
Elliot: Well, sorry guys. I was just given an assignment that’s due at the end of the weekend. So yeah, we can’t hang out.
(Elmer facepalms. Xavior comes from behind)
Xavior: Just do it while we’re camping, sheesh! Like as if we’re going to be so busy sitting on our asses all day in the woods.
(Elliot shakes and changes his mind)
Elliot: That’s true. Let me just dress properly.
(Elliot disappears, and Xavior falls down. Elliot’s gang waits outside)
Brandon: Coincidentally, the protagonist parted from his comrades, leaving them all –
(Elliot runs back to the door)
Elliot: Alright, let’s go.
Jimbo: Go where?
Brandon: Confused by his second comrade’s confusion, Elliot majestically performed a term known as, a face palm.
Xavior: No actually it’s called a slash face palm. How do you think I know this? FHUGHKGUN WEETART!
Elmer: (Similar to Bill Cosby gibberish) Wazogolda gedablasa gadablasagabal
Grandmama: I find it ironic that I’m the grandma and you failed the portions of taking your dear old time to get your asses in here!
Elliot: Grandmama, what are you doing here?
(Grandmama hovers over and grabs Elliot)
Grandmama: Do I know you? I said get in! Read the script you jackasses!
(Grandmama hovers back to her truck.)
(Elliot attempts to climb into her truck, but slips and falls and grunts. Elliot attempts to climb in again, but fails)
Grandmama: Ah but-a while I’m still alive, a-come on, let’s go, I got a nail appointment at five and a pedicure at six.
(Elliot and the gang are inside the truck, and Grandmama revs up the truck as if she is in a race. Grandmama drives at a hyper speed.)
Pedestrian: Hey look I’m running!
(Grandmama rams into the pedestrian so hard, his skeleton gets ripped out of his body. Grandmama runs into a crowd of policemen.)
APPROACHING END OF WORLD
Have a nice day :3
(Grandmama is shocked and stops her truck just in time. She quickly flips it around and takes a pathway through the suburbs, and out through a forest. She crashes full speed into a pine tree and uses it as a ramp. She flies in the air and into a cargo box being held by a crane. The force of the truck causes the crane tower to collapse. A bunch of works start running and screaming from the tower.)
(Cuts to inside the truck)
Jimbo: Hey madam, are you Elliot’s Grandmama-ma?
Grandmama: No, I can’t change the channel, I’m a little busy with something here.
(The cargo box breaks away from the crane with the truck still inside.)
(The Gym teacher uses his car alarm to locate his tiny car in a parking lot. The cargo box lands on top of the Gym teacher’s car.)
Gym teacher: You stupid idiot. (Unintelligible screaming while flapping his arms in the air and on the ground)
(The traffic light turns red. Grandmama speeds right through it. A Heavy cop witnesses the moment)
Heavy: (Laughs and wakes up)
(The heavy turns on his siren and starts chasing after Grandmama at a very slow speed on his bike)
(Cuts to inside the truck)
Grandmama: This is just like that one computer game your dad used to play, um, what is it, Grand Theft Auto?
(Grandmama drives though a tunnel until she finally frees her truck from the cargo box. The cargo box flies into a cliff and ricochets back)
(Cuts to heavy riding inside the tunnel)
Heavy: Did you think you could beat me?
(The cargo box flies into the heavy)
Elliot: Actually Grandmama, it’s called Grand Theft Auto.
Brandon: Slouched in the back of the crowd, Brandon is seen counting the paved, pure lines of the surface. (continues talking)
(Grandmama puts the truck to a halt)
Grandmama: You! (Points to Elliot) Unwanted grandson, tell that boy back there to fly back to Narnia or else I’m gonna shove my foot up his little feathery ass.
(Elliot turns around)
Elliot: Grandma said shut up.
Brandon: Oh, okay.
(Grandmama starts driving again, but slams into a white van. She realizes she is stuck in a traffic jam)
Grandmama: Ah shit, traffic jam. Time to make a detour!
(Grandmama takes a detour off a cliff. A guy on a bike takes grandmama’s spot. Grandmama is driving on a stream. Xavior appears outside grandmama’s window)
Xavior: The hell are you doing, dumb bitch? You could’ve ran over traffic.
Grandmama: I’m trying to get the achievement for ramming into that shitty house.
(Grandmama smashes into the shitty house to pieces. The Xbox Achievement Earned notification appears.)
Grandmama: See? Now stop crying!
(Grandmama crashes into a parking meter and flies way past the curb, but reached the destination.)
Grandmama: Am I too close to the curb?
Jimbo: Are you kidding? The curb is like a mile away. Good job Grandmama-ma-ma-ma-ma.
Grandmama: Aw, thanks sweetie. You’re like the grandson that I never had.
(Jimbo starts sparkling in delight)
Jimbo: Oh golly, you shoudn’t have.
Grandmama: Yeah you’re right, I shouldn’t have said that. Now make like my husband and go die in the war.
(Grandmama flips her truck over to spills Elliot and the gang out. Grandmama flips her car multiple times until it stands up straight. Grandmama falls onto the sidewalk next to Elliot and the gang.)
Grandmama: I’ll be back at 4:00 AM sharp tomorra'. If you’re a second late, I’m leaving, ya jackasses.
Elliot: Come on, 4 AM?
Tourettes guy: (Off screen) No!
Elliot: Can’t you make it a more reasonable time, like 12 o’clock noon?
(Grandmama looks at her watch)
Grandmama: Actually, I’m not coming at all. (Throws watch at Elliot) Thanks for reminding me.
(Grandmama flies back to her car. She levitates over her car in a professional way, but slams her face into the windshield of the truck.)
Grandmama: Have fun eating each other you stupid fagolas.
Xavior: Way to go potty mouth!
(Xavior gets his keyboard out, starting typing on it, turns it into a laptop, and swings it at Elliot)
Elliot: How can I be a potty mouth if I’ve never even cursed in this series before? (He stabs his finger through Xavior’s glasses) Huh, c-can you- can you answer that? Uh, wait. Well, maybe that, like, one time in the first episode when I said...fuck.
(Brandon leans over)
Brandon: You’re a curse.
(In the background, a guy screams and flies into a stack of dominoes)
(Two Engineers are putting up a sign for a new nail salon)
Engineer: Come on git. We need a-
Elliot: Why are we at the nail salon?
(Cuts to Grandmama in the middle of a forest)
Grandmama: Alright, who moved the saloon? I’m calling the mayor about this crap!
(Cuts back to the shopping center)
Engineer: We need a dispenser right here.
(Elmer turns to see the nail salon)
Elmer: Just in time.
(Elmer tip toes to the salon. Elliot falls backwards. Jimbo chugs down on a soda)
Jimbo: I think Grandmama mixed up the drop off locations.
(Xavior comes over)
Xavior: Gee Jimbo, you think? (Grabs Jimbo’s soda and lies down) Why are you always such a fucking retard in this episode? (Drinks the soda)
(Xavior plays a video game on his laptop. Brandon slides up next to him.)
Brandon: Upon listing the unnecessary accusations that this delicate creature bestows, Brandon has come to the conclusion that shifted mental disabilities has occurred due to the excessive use of actions in virtual realms consisting the technology that controls us – (To Elliot sleeping) Shut up, Elliot.
(Cuts to a suburb. Elmer is sleeping up a tree)
Elliot: Alright, so according to my Droid Eris GPS app, we should be approaching the campsite in about –
(Elliot pushes a button on his phone)
Phone: Calculating route. (Dial-up noises)
Elliot: - a half hour.
Xavior: Wasn’t I supposed to say that, GIVE ME MY PHONE, BITCH!
(Xavior chucks a monitor at Elliot, leaving his phone floating in the air. Xavior grabs the phone in his mouth like a dog. Elliot is laying on the ground next to the monitor with Elliot’s face on it)
Xavior: Alright so according to my Droid Eris GPS app, we should be approaching the campsite in approximately 1700 hours.
(While Xavior was talking, Jimbo is shown leaning on a stop sign, waving his hand. Jimbo recieves a large stack of pizzas, delivered by Ellis riding a horse.)
Elliot: Kidding, I was actually supposed to say that.
Elmer: Stop arguing and divorce already. My nails are sensitive.
(The camera zooms on Elmer’s “beautiful” nails with a creepy filter and noise)
(Elliot is watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force on his iPhone. The phone changes the channel to Jimbo eating.)
Jimbo: Elliort, don’t you have an “el papel” to write?
Elliot: (Remembers the paper and spazzes out) Do’h fffffffffffffff yeah I do.
Jimbo: And you left it at home.
(A picture of a jackass fades over Elliot’s face and braying noises are played)
Elliot: Yep, guess I can’t do it then.
(Mr. Higglesworth drives with his chair over to Elliot and parks it)
Mr. Higglesworth: Oh yes, you can fagola, here’s a copy!
(Mr. Higglesworth chucks a copy of the assignment at Elliot, causing him to shatter apart like glass)
Mr. Higglesworth: Ha!
(Mr. Higglesworth speeds off and drives into a house where a woman is opening the front door)
(Jimbo appears on screen, eats a pizza, and points at the house)
Jimbo: Oh, that Mr. Higglesworth, such a clever dog!
(Jimbo cracks his neck, light shines from his teeth, and the black screen closes in on Jimbo’s face as if it is the end.)
(Cuts to later that day. Elliot and the gang are running down a street on Halloween, with Elmer running ahead.)
Xavior: That had to be the most homosexual thing I’ve ever heard in the real world.
(Elliot looks forward. Elmer is running back towards the group. Elmer slams his ear against Xavior)
Elmer: My ear’s a homosexual!
Brandon: Yeah, I played it on way too much, that’s why I talk like this.
(A rooster call is heard. The camera flips to Bill Clinton dressed as the Joker. He looks very sad and is holding a paper bag)
Bill Clinton: (Sniff) Hey dudes. Spare a dime, so I can buy some more doobies? Lost my house and my doobies.
(Elmer falls over like a plank of wood)
Xavior: Drugs are bad! Get out of here you freakin’ hobo!
Bill Clinton: Oh, (Sniff) okay. (Runs off) Doobies doobies doobies doobies doobies doobies…
(The sky is beginning to turn darker. The streetlamps turn on. Elliot lies under one and it starts scorching his face. The camera zooms into Elliot’s eyes.)
Jimbo: Jesus! How much longer Elliot? It’s like we’ve been walking around in circles for hours. (He says, poking Elliot directly in the eye.)
(A map of the neighborhood is shown with a circle drawn around it)
(Xavior hits Jimbo)
Xavior: Hey, I’m the one with the GPS app. (Slaps Jimbo on the head) Go fuck yourself sideways Jimbo.
(Xavior jumps and lands on top of Jimbo and Elliot. Xavior has his Droid Eris)
Jimbo: Eh, maybe later.
(Xavior picks up the phone)
Droid Eris: (Dials up) (Squeaky voices)
Xavior: Hmm, well according to my calculations, we should arrive before it gets –
(The sky suddenly turns into night)
(Elliot looks around the ominous neighborhood. A blue van drives forward, but is hit by a train.)
Unknown voice: You drive like my fucking grandmother, you know that?
(A fast zombie torso crawls on the ground)
Elliot: I think we’re lost.
(Elliot, Jimbo, and Xavior huddle together in terror. G-man is in the background)
G-man: Time Dr. Freeman?
(The Happy Mask Salesman slides in from stage right.)
Xavior: SCHSHEIT! I just remembered. I forgot to turn off my PC. Now it’s going to overheat and corrupt the anti-virus program, so then my computer will be vulnerable to cyber-attacks! (No-clip mode) BRB.
(Brandon looks at the G-man who is wearing a mask)
(Xavior flies away. Jimbo falls over. G-man is continuing to talk about stuff. Elliot gets out a box of poptarts)
Elliot: Welp, there goes our only hope in survival (Slams a poptart in his mouth)
(Agent 47 from the Hitman Series comes over to Elliot. Elliot gives up another poptart to him. Agent 47 flies away)
(The G-man with the mask is right behind the gang, only to be struck with a filing cabinet by Brandon)
G-man: Hoho, that’s the best you got?
Brandon: Maybe there’s something else. Something else to use. Something else to allow forward progress. Our heroes descend further and further to the darker depths of their teenage universe, not knowing what or who is going to lead them to their fate.
(Elliot halts Jimbo from progressing. They see a man in the street. The man waits and grabs Faith from the Mirror’s Edge series. The man silences the crew with his finger, and proceeds to break her neck. He drops her on the ground. The man, Elliot, and the gang stare at each other. A light flashes.)
Brandon: Suddenly, a faint point of volumetric contrast lit the dark night and a sanction of hope and relief lifted their spirits in the black night sky. Safety was knocking at their door.
(Knocking noise is heard)
Jimbo: Hey look guys, a light.
Brandon: (Childish voice) I just said that.
Elliot: Come on, let’s go see what it is.
Brandon: (Back to narrator voice) I just said that.
(Camera zooms in on the light)
Elmer: That’s probably my fleshlight!
(Elmer toggles his lantern a few times.)
Brandon: We were lied to, and we have failed.
(Jimbo runs to Elmer and throws an exclamation point.)
Jimbo: Elmer! You aren’t even our friend! Why are you here? Go home!
(Elmer becomes emotionally depressed. He start having flashback of his moments back in school)
Elmer: (In flashback of Field Trips) My name is Elmer.
Brandon: (In flashback of Field Trips) Haha, Fapp, you’re so funny!
Elmer: (In flashback of Field Trips) You ruin every single fucking joke Elliot. (From Mondays) You may have met a lot of people in your life, but you ain’t met anyone like Elmer. (Starts echoing the word Elmer).
Jimbo: No, I didn’t mean it like that. Come on big guy.
Xavior: Way to go! (Xavior is typing on his laptop) More teenage drama! How pathetic.
Elliot: Xavior? (Slams on the ground next to Xavior) How long have you been here?
(Xavior plays a video game and Elliot appears in the frame. He shows Elliot his laptop)
Xavior: Long enough. Brought my Macbook, you see?
Elliot: Didn’t you steal that from Best Buy last Monday?
(Heavy jazz band is playing in the background)
Xavior: The Elliot Goes to School: Mondays episode was takin' place around Christmas, stupid-ass!
(Jimbo backs up a bit)
Elliot (in the form of Link from The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker): Do I look like a lesbian from this angle?
(Jimbo looks down at Elliot's different form. He looks around for a moment)
(Ellis is next to a dead horse. He gives a thumbs up of approval to Jimbo.)
(A Chinese lamp is chucked at Elliot, returning him to his normal body. Chris and Dan jump from the bushes)
Dan: (Dressed as a Combine soldier) Yo, trick or treat, bitches. Gimme yo shiiiit.
(Elmer is still having his emotional flashbacks, but snaps out of it.)
Elmer: Very well, then.
(Elmer places a stack of $100 bills in Dan’s popcorn bag)
Chris: (Dressed as Jason Vorhees) Ah, thanks pussies. (Slaps Dan’s arm) Yo Dan, let’s bounce!
Dan: (Distorted with mask on) Shit, yeah mothafucka! Peace out, bitches!
(Chris and Dan ride off into the night on a bike)
Brandon: Sad, disrespectful men appeared from under the bush, robbing the crew of their valuables. Such men don’t deserve a purpose. They believe inhaling substances and performing sexual orientation with multiple women leads to a prosperous life, yet they will never deserve any better, or any worse. The futures tends to unfold as it should.
(The underpants guy runs onto the street, a landmine appears, and runs away. Brandon is shown, and a beeping noise is heard onscreen. A car runs over the mine and explodes. It turns out to be Chris and Dan who ran into the mine. They are laying on the ground, and their bike is on fire.)
Solid Snake: (From the video game) Yeah, RIP.
(Cuts to Elliot and the gang walk through a forest)
Xavior: When are we going camping? This is bullshit!
(Jimbo rushes over to Xavior)
Jimbo: I don’t know, Xavior. Why don’t you check Google Maps with your fancy laptop? (Repeatedly pokes Xavior’s nose until it bleeds)
(Opens up message window and types as he speaks)
.::Xavior::.: It’s called a MACBOOK. Ass-FACE. (Slams the laptop against Jimbo.)
(The Macbook screen is shown. A brief moment of Sony Vegas showing the Elliot Goes Camping video is seen. Xavior goes to Google Maps.)
(Google maps shows the location of Xavior. The location is T3H C4M|>5i73)
Xavior: Let me see, now. Campsite should be approximately five feet in front of us.
(The campsite is seen. However, it zooms out to reveal it resides in a very...familiar location. Elliot’s face fades in on screen. Flashbacks are shown from the beginning of the episode, revealing that the campsite has been in Elliot's backyard the whole time.)
Elliot: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!
(Elliot rips and breaks the Macbook out of Xavior’s hands. He grips Xavier by his shirt.)
Elliot: We just walked an entire circle for hours and the whole time it was RIGHT IN MY BACKYARD?!?!
Xavior: Guess so. <rufflkuptr>
Elmer: Well my nails are still wet, therefore, it’s only been two and a half hours.
(Elliot backs off and smiles at Xavior, but frowns upon Elmer’s statement)
Elliot: Only two and a half hours. To discover my backyard.
Elmer: Guess so. <rufflkuptr> (Slams his head on the ground)
Jimbo: Alrighty, let’s go do some hardcore campin’.
(Cuts to Elliot and the gang are camping. Brandon is reading the book Hop on Pop, Jimbo has his hands around the fire, Elliot is bored in his chair, Xavior is playing hon his laptop, and Elmer is drying his nails. The ambience of dogs and bugs are heard.)
Xavior: This sucks!
Jimbo: Come on guys, all in a day’s work, right?
Elliot: To walk twenty feet from where we started.
Brandon: And yet, the fi –
Xavior: Do you ever shut the hell up?
Elliot: So guys, since this camping trip went to complete crap, how about we go get some free candy?
Xavior: I’d rather play this sexy game.
Jimbo: Mmm, the fire feels cozy.
Brandon: (Childish voice) I prefer sitting down!
Elmer: This fire helps my nails dry. They’re still wet for some reason.
(Jimbo is still sitting and getting cozy with the fire, Elliot is bored out of his mind, Xavior is looking off into space with his laptop, Elmer is sleeping with his nails still wet, Brandon is still reading his book. For each character shown, a cricket noise is played, but lower pitched each time until it reacher Brandon, which makes a fart noise.)
(Xavior loses in a game of Slenderman. He closes the laptop)
Xavior: You know what? This is gay. Let’s get the fuck out of here.
Xavior: Leave it to me! (Opens his laptop) I know a shortcut (continues talking)
Brandon: (Narrator voice) Oh Jesus God no.
Elliot: Later guys.
(Elliot runs into his glass door)
Mr. Higglesworth: Fagola!
(Elliot gets up to see Mr. Higglesworth over his fence)
Mr. Higglesworth : Pass us some marshmallows. We ran out.
Elliot: Uh, sorry, we don’t have any.
Mr. Higglesworth: (Looks disappointed) Then why is that kid over there a fatass?
Elmer: ‘Cause my name’s Elmer, god damn it!
Ms. Person: Mr. Higglesworth, I want fucking marshmallows right now. Where are they?
Mr. Higglesworth: Up your ass.
Ms. Person: Oh, I did not check there yet.
Mr. Cool: Ms. Lady, can you please gain the urge to pass the beans?
(Ms. Person turns to Mr. Cool)
Ms. Person: Ms. Man, can you please gain the urge to shut the fuck up and give me marshmallows?
Mr. Higglesworth: Well I’ll give you an F, whether you do your ass-ignment or not, so, go to bed!
(Folding Chair comes up to Mr. Higglesworth)
Folding Chair: Well I’m gonna fuckin’ slap your shit, so how about you go to bed, ya old fuck?
(Mr. Higglesworth retreats away slowly)
(Xavior is spinning his laptop on his finger)
Xavior: So guys, how about that costume store, huh?
Elliot: I have a house to go live in, so I’ll see ya.
(Elliot opens the door)
Door security: Access granted.
(Elliot runs inside)
Jimbo: Gonna sleep over Slim’s house again.
(Jimbo farts out a rocket thruster.)
Jimbo: Later fellas.
(Jimbo's butt thruster blasts off, shooting him up into the air. It momentarily crashes onto the ground, but flies up again and towards the moon until he is completely out of sight)
(Elmer wakes up after resting his head in the campfire. His head is now a skull)
Elmer: I need to get my nails repainted. Peace in.
(Elmer stumbles away and then flies off)
Brandon: (Using his childish voice to sing with a song) “Carry on, my wayward son,” (Voice turns to echo towards the end) Brandon replies sequentially. He stepped away into the darkness, nevermore seen by another soul. The long away he goes, nevermore seen by another soul. Nevermore to appear in this episode, nevermore nevermore nevermore...
(Xavior stops spinning his laptop)
Folding Chair: DICKS!
(Folding Chair flies backwards onto a trampoline, jumps into the air, and lands with an explosion.)
(The campfire turns off like a light switch)
Xavior: Yeah, well, screw you guys more candy for me tonight.
(Elliot is ignoring Xavior in his living room, watching TV)
Xavior’s Dad: GO TO BED!
Xavior: Yes, daddy.
(The end and credits play)
Kitty0706: Haha God, YOU’RE NOT FUNNY! I’m going to try screaming from a distance. Actually that’s (coughs)
RunFromTheMinges: Safety is knocking on their door. That actually sounds like something Alan Wake would like to say. I’m proud of you, I’m proud of you. All right let’s say “Oh my God one second”
Jokertone36: Gotta go sleep over at Sin’s (stuttters out nonsensical ramble and laughs) Sim’s house. (Clears throat) Gotta go sleep okay okay.
ShanerRamone: Get your mind out of the (Hesitates and starts saying random stuff) alright alright.
Kitty0706: I really don’t know, um, why don’t you try reading the script or the title of the video PERHAPS! (Screams) So yeah, we can’t hang out, my bad. Bobby, Bobby, BOBBY, BOBBY!
Wes: Actually, on second thought, I have to go do my assignment.
Kitty0706: Later guys
Kitty0706: (As Mr. Higglesworth) Oh look, it’s the almighty Elliot, the star of the show, congratu-fucking-lations, gee about time your lazy ass got to answer the door.
Kitty0706: (As Mr. Cool) Oh hey Wes, what’s your God sound, I got?
Driver voice: You drive like my fucking grandmother, you know that? But what the fuck are you doing? Take your fucking foot off the accelerator. Hoho that’s the best you got? Come on let’s go, chop chop! I’m going in, back me up.
(Siren is heard)
-Of course I’m going to make more. Just gimme a long break.
-Leukemia update: Currently an out patient! Feeling great! :D
-Am I going to stop Gmods? Nope.
-Am I furry? Now? No. When I was an awkward 12 year old.
-How about a Brony?........Are these questions sensitive to you?
^and that’s another no. Perhaps never.
-Don’t like my “Let’s Plays”………….I upload what I want, buttface:3
-Do I hate furries/bronies?...............No. Rarely they’re decent, though.
-Questioning music choices?.......................The door’s to your left.
-Oh no! Offensive language?.....Sorry. Next time I’ll play with toys.
-Is anyone even reading this?.......................I sure damn hope so.
-Kitty, are you a guy?.....................Yeah. I know the name sucks.
-Y U NO VIDS?!................................CUZ I HAV LIFE.
- Wait a sex. You draw animals, you furry.
Let’s make this in big text.
Liking cartoon animals doesn’t make me a furry.
I miss old cartoons when animals used to be funny.
Now they’re frowned upon because the fandom made them that way. That’s how I see it.
So that’s why I draw cartoon animals.
To try and bring back the humor that once had.
Since most of the time furries are not funny.
But you may think otherwise. Just stating opinions here.
I put this here because a lot of people asked.
So there’s the truth. Enjoy your lives now.
Back to more questions.
-Kitty, will I ever get to see you face!!??!?! XDDDD
Snoop around. My friends and I made videos before.
Besides that’s creepy wanting to see my face.
STAY TUNED FOR A SPECIAL MESSAGE
(End of credits. Back to the video)
(Elliot is watching TV in his living room)
TV: (Quiet talking)
(Elliot looks away. He opens the door to the garage and turns on the lights. He sees the bike uses to get to school. Elliot rides off on his bike in the night like a maniac. A close up on Elliot’s face shows him smiling and his teeth shine. Fades out black)
(Cuts to a man running through a dark forest, possible either Brandon or Xavior. He climbs over wooden boxes in the water. A creature emerges from the boxes.)
HAPPY HALLOWEEN :>
Gabe Newell: Thanks, and have fu-
(End of video)